1. Corrected.
This morning, my sis was like “where are the car keys??” and im like “hung up, downstairs, like always!” and she was like “they are not here!”, and im like “Yes they are!!!” (and they were). And I dont know if I said this or thought this but I’m like…of course they are there. I never ever ever ever lose the car keys cuz im sooo predictable and alert and I always always put them where they belong…

A few hours later, im walking out of a store, and I open my bag to get out those same keys. they are not there. no seriously, they are not there.. “walduha, walduha…” i read and search frantically but they are not there…. so i check my pockets: cell phone, tissues, extra buttons, ipod, headphones, more tissues….no KEYS! okay..don’t panic let me just walk up to the…..
where is the car?
I can’t see the car either!!
okay let me check my bag again…no, no no keys!
And then of course I panic. I had hung up my coat for a while inside, someone must have found the keys in my pocket, took them and is now cruising happily along while I am about to go into cardiac arrest!

And then I see a Muslim sister I know in the parking lot… She smiles, “assalamualaikum!…” and she sees me pale and emptying out everything and she’s like “malek? (what’s wrong)” .
And I’m like “I cant find the keys or the car!” (Drama, anyone??)
“Okay, calm down…” and she starts half hugging me half checking my bag…panic within me rises and then-
I pull the keys out of my pocket.
They were there the whole time but I guess I was just blinded to it….
I think I was temporarily blinded from them for a lesson. To be corrected. I don’t always always always put them in the right spot. I don’t never ever lose them. Because im human and prone to error.

With her arm still around my shoulder, she leaves her car and stuff and starts walking so we can now find the car… But by this point, I am already relieved. I just needed to find one item: the car or the keys so that the nightmare image of the happy crusin’ thief could fade away. So finding the car should be no problem, inshAllah. And then, panic no longer clouding my vision or thought, I see the car…I parked it a little farther than usual- but it seems to be part of the plan that I was unaware of.

I feel humbled and stand corrected.

(And I love when you see random Muslim sisters you know in times of need. It is like the barakah of Islam that radiates everywhere That sister also gained a special place in my heart…SubhanAllah …)

2. My new game. I found a new game…on my iPod, under ‘games’ (which i never before bothered to check out) there is a ‘music quiz’…of course it quizzes you on whatever is on your iPod. Alhamdulilah right now mine is mostly quran so what happens is it lets you hear like 20 seconds of a random part in the surah and gives you five choices and you have to pick the right one as fast as possible…. (and then if i get a nasheed its like a freebie)…oh and as the time counts down, some of the choices dissapear, so the faster you get it, the higher you score. Anyway thats one beneficial activity for the plane ride.

3. It is the little things in life that make it special. Like the snow, yesterday. It was really, really sparkling. Like sparkling, and smiling, and shining. And beautiful. It was like diamonds falling from the sky….so soft and so sparkly… All this khayr keeps coming down and subhanAllah so much shar keeps rising up…and khayr too…but only khayr desecends.. And seriously, if your heart no longer takes delight in the small things, like snowflakes, and sunlight, and (travel reservation glitches that earn you a couple more days!!! alhamdulillah! which also leads to the missing-a-day-of-school-small-delight)… Anyway if these small, simple things don’t bring you happiness…then…well, you are missing out. And if you want to rekindle your small-things-are-the-best-spirit…hang out with any little unspoiled simple kid and see things from their eyes!

So, I don’t usually like using different middle eastern accents instead of the classical Arabic in reading, especially when it comes to poetry…but I gotta say, this one gets an exception… I ♥ it… Now let’s apply it inshaAllah…

P.S. a  post is in the works inshaAllah…Reflections from the ICNYU 2010 conference!!

Trade A Weak Heart For A Strong One…How?

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“Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest” (Surah Ra’d, 28)

Most Americans still evaluate risks the same way grandparents and those before them did, using antiquated logic, misguided assumptions and emotions, anecdotes past experience, and intuition to get through life’s never ending parade of decisions.

Most people think dramatically, not quantitatively.

Time and time again, Americans worry about risks that are insignificant while virtually ignoring truly substantial threats

Risk is a combination of the probability of an event, usually an adverse event, and severity of that event.

Our successes have built a conceit that if enough resources and persistence are brought to bear, society can use its tools of science and technology to conquer all risks. This is the myth of zero risk.

Read: The Polar Bear Strategy

Mourning myself, yes, for what
I think I may have become.
You really don’t know what’s best for you-
what irony-I dare to laugh at this irony-
sometimes in tears you are happier
than in laughter.
For excessive laughter
kills the heart.
Of course maybe if the ‘me’ of
a few months ago
met the ‘me’ of today
she would not agree that she is better.
But it feels as if I’ve gained some things alhamdulilah,
but lost some essentials.
Maybe it is this busy way of life?
I was advised to stop thinking and analyzing and worrying.
So I did.
Completely?
Allahu aalam.
I don’t know what my status is with Allah
to compare it with what it was.
But something I can’t put my finger on is missing now..
I feel like I went through an exchange.
A loss for a gain.
I am not-nor do I hope to ever be-satisifed with myself.
I have a long way to go.
Oh Allah, grant me wisdom.
Grant me a quiet wisdom.
I want to be the deep of the ocean:
Calm and stable.
I don’t want to be its crashing shores.
All sound, all energy…
but shallow at its core.

Life happens to everyone. Whether we like it or not, whether we want it or not. It hits us hard sometimes and makes us laugh some other times. But the bottom line is, it happens to all of us regardless of how prepared we are to handle its strikes.

I’ll give ourselves some credit and say that we’re thankful when good things happen to us, but it’s when we’re thrown off track that we feel puzzled. Something wrong happens to us and we’re suddenly troubled, unaware how to act, how to talk, how to behave…How are we gonna get back on track? How did this happen? Why did this happen? Why me?

As if we DESERVE otherwise. As if we only deserve that which is good. Who defines what’s good anyways? Who said that everything tough is bad? Isn’t everything we go through for our best? How many times a day do we repeat “inshaAllah khair”? Do we not know what the implications of the phrase is? Whatever happens is KHAIR. Period! We go through life thinking we deserve the things we work and pray for. Ever heard that saying? “Work hard, pray harder”?

Well, say you did that, worked hard, prayed harder…then what? you believe you deserve what you want. You await for the fruits you believe you earned.

But, you forget one thing…you see, no one said you’d get what you wanted in this lifetime! No one said you’d get what you wanted for sure! So, what’s the point?

Point is, you’ll get what’s best for you inshaAllah. And you’ll be REWARDED…

You’re going through the pain either way. Whether you like it or not, a painful situation is painful. There’s no escape from the pain. So…you might as well be patient and earn some rewards while you’re at it instead of just feeling the pain without any reward or gain in the end! “No pain, no gain” right?…

Go through the pain. Either get the gain now or await it in Jannah. Or better yet, you’ll be lucky and get both gains in this life and the hereafter.

You deserve nothing but that which Allah has written for you. You are blessed with things not because you DESERVE them…but because Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala BLESSED you with them….TO TEST you…and to see how you’ll treat and go through those tests…

May Allah grant you your desires of this life and the hereafter inshaAllah.

Wassalamu alaikum..

P.S. If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier that others, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are

Imprisoned.
Nothing more lonely or solemn than prison.
But suddenly,

Engulfed
in the sound of rain and thunder.

What if the ocean lost it’s blue?
Would people still hurry to its shores?
Would it still be the pool of calm?
Would anything about it ever be the same again?

He makes you feel
like life is alright.
Gets really protective
when your clothes are too tight.

Puts his hand on your shoulder
just when you want to collapse.
The world tells you worry
But he tells you to “chillax”

He sees what’s best for you
when Mommy’s blinded with love.
He sees the big picture,
And surveys from above.

He’s the ultimate backup,
when Mommy says “NO”
But he’s also the one
who always said so.

He’s the absolute best
for a drive in the car
He spills all the secrets
and dreams really far.

He puts money in his pocket
and never in his heart
Beating the system is his skill
enforcing it his art.

His cup is always half full
and it never goes empty
He teaches you to never generalize
and never know envy.

As a kid you slept soundly
only when Daddy was there
Because he can totally rip out
any trespasser’s hair.

Daddy’s the one for travel
He’s got the whole day planned.
Smiles at the world’s culture
and appreciates no-man’s-land.

He’s our ride to the masjid
Makes you love the Deen
For books and for knowledge
he makes you eager and keen

He’s Plato, He’s Darwin,
he’s Ibn Sina’s consutlant.
He’s Ibn Battuta’s travel guide
And Ibn Hazm’s Al-Andalusy’s editor…

No, he’s even better…
He’s My Daddy.

Sometimes you only mean to help
but instead everything goes wrong.
And you are the bad guy
or the bad girl in my case.

Sometimes the best of intentions
get you in the worst of situations
and you are left wondering why
and hoping for the best.

Sometimes you just don’t belong.
Like me now.
Different.
Bad kind of different.
And sometimes there is nothing you can do about that.

Sometimes you can’t understand,
how something so small,
could become such a big deal,
it sneaks up on you and slaps you. Hard.

Sometimes people don’t know
that all you wanted to do was help.
And you are left not only unappreciated,
but blamed and accused.

Sometimes you don’t know how to explain.
You don’t know how to fix what broke.
You don’t know how to restore your “default settings”
You just can’t start over.

Sometimes you just want to change your name
and change your identity…
and start over…
Maybe you will get it right-the second time.

Sometimes you just want to cry
but you know that it would solve nothing.
Trust me-I’ve tried.
Right in the middle of class-I couldn’t hold it in..
Wiped my tears as they fell so nobody would notice.
Nobody noticed, and nothing changed.

And sometimes you don’t know what to do.
You can’t imagine how tomorrow will flow.
How things will work out you don’t even know.

Sometimes you just want to run away and hide
itikaaf forever in the masjid sounds GREAT right now
well it sounds great everyday…
but if I could hide I would hide there…
in the Ka’bah maybe?! or Masjid Al-Aqsa…

Just get me out of this place!
I can’t think like these people do.
Nor can I calculate little details of life like them.
I can’t blend in or figure out my place.

But I guess those times are good too-
your realize how people you don’t even know can dissapoint you-
and the only one worth caring about,
the only one worth asking for help…
is The Creator of those people… Allah.

And sometimes with a sad sigh,
all you can say is Ya Rabb….
That satisfies me…
Alhamdulillah.

Wow…I’m such a…”Moslem”
I’ve spent an hour complaining..
and in the end: “alhamdulillah”
Shouldn’t I start with alhamdulillah?
So many things to work on….subhanAllah

So…I started reading a book this morning called Zeitoun

I haven’t read any reviews, or even a summary..so I don’t know what it is about…It is nonfiction though-based on a true story of a Muslim family.  Abdurhama Zeitoun, a Syrian American, Kathy his wife, and their kids…It takes place in New Orleans…I think it has something to do with the hurricae Katrina.. So far, I’m on page 40, and I like it…It’s very real and the author gets you in the mood…

So this is not a recommendation for the book…but an invitation to read it with me (or after me, cuz I’m going to try to finish it these two days…). I found it in my house but you can find it at Chapters (or Borders/Barnes and Noble/whatever)…

Feel free to share reflections here! InshAllah I will be doing so as I go along with the book!

So…you know how sometimes you just get tired of a book…you seek another one to match your new taste, and after a while, you fall back on your old one because you’re just too used to it and have grown attached to it somehow? lol….That’s what’s been happening to me ever since I started blogging, oh, 5 or 6 years ago…
So, here’s a new one, for a different kind of post variety…How long it will last is a mystery…Allahu a3lam…How often will it be updated? Same answer…Allahu a3lam…but, it’s a new beginning nonetheless…Will HiddenSouls remain? Why of course! What do you think I’ve been rambling about with the old and new notebooks just now? lol   Plus I hope Daughter of Pearls doesn’t forget sharing her wisdom with us on here inshaAllah as she got us used to!!

Vagus Ink

Now, before your mind goes wandering, look up what vagus means

So here is another cool sister:

and…