November 30, 2008

It’s all been written…so relax!


…And a breath to follow…

November 25, 2008

Please…Label them not as random words strung together,
Sometimes it is the things that make no sense at all
that give us all the insight we need….
Sometimes it is the things we are looking for hardest
that we are never meant to find….
Sometimes it is the things we wait for the longest,
that are never meant to come….
Sometimes it is within the deepest mystery
that we find all our clues.
Sometimes it is the things we yearn for the most,
that would be of greatest harm to us.
Sometimes it is when we try our hardest,
that the doors seem to all be locked.
Sometimes it is what hurts the most,
that brings us most relief.
Sometimes it is when we look too deep for beauty
that we are permanently blind from it.
Sometimes it is when we search too deep for answers
that the questions become more sophisticated.
Sometimes when it can’t seem to get colder,
it snows…
And I believe
that this may be the winter of her life…
Curious how flowers never seem to manage well in this weather,
but in spring they bloom!!
So tell that flower, tell her gently,
whisper to her fragile, lovely petals…
that it is only a matter of time
before the snow melts,
and spring arrives.
And tell that flower not to let the world wilt it so,
because sunshine is overhead.
It is frustrating that the flower can’t see its own beauty!
When everyone around, just longs to pick it!
But let it be, let it be.
Every season has its right to stay.
Don’t you see the rainbow after every storm?
Or hear twice that relief shall follow hardship?
So enjoy the mystery,
enjoy the fear,
enjoy the doubt,
enjoy the change,
enjoy the pressure,
enjoy the impossible-just because you know these factors cannot last forever
Nobody said it was going to be easy,
but nobody said you can’t enjoy it either.
Even the stone gargoyle,
comes to life in a serene night.
That gargoyle should teach us
to enjoy what we don’t understand,
you never understood their babble,
but sometimes it is what we don’t understand,
like english speaking gargoyles,
or the distance of the stars,
that fascinate us most.
You don’t understand life? So what?
Let it fascinate you instead.
And above everyone who has knowledge is someone who has more knowledge.
So wait for that serenity,
wait for the rainbow,
wait for the season of flowers.
And know that “I love you”
is the language of flowers…
There will never be enough flowers,
or enough of that phrase for the loveliest flower….
And tell that flower to dry her tears,
because there are gardens and gardens and gardens
that await patiently
for her seeds of wisdom…
to be shared.

Another Breath

November 24, 2008

Her heart just froze.
She longed for this moment.
She prayed for it. 
Alas, it came. 

A smile and a tear.

She looked around.
It wasn’t spinning.
It was all too natural, so real.

It sunk right in, and she lost feeling.
Come out of your shelter!
You knew it was coming..and yet you let it be.
How weak you are!

It blew in her face like the wind.
It was so obvious, and has been for long, yet she was deceived. 
It was so clear, and yet, she was blind.
The ease with which wind travels. 
The speed.
The cold.
It’s just as easy for them.
After all, that’s how they were created.

Her words were known.
But…sadly..barely practiced.

The final puzzle piece fit in properly. 
For too long she tried at the wrong piece.
Too bad.
She wasn’t in it.
A picture.
A blurry one.
And yet another.
Of snow topped mountains and…eagles?
Soaring high.
Bold and strong.
Small in comparison.
Getting back to the point.
It was now perfect. 
She could see it all.
But still, she refused to believe it. 
What was wrong with her?
Where is this leash tying her down?
Where are those gargoyles?
She wanted to fly.

Hold on a second!
What was the point?
Had she gone through the same path?
Yet again?!
Surely, this shall be the last of this.
And why you ask?
Well, because there’s almost no pie left.
That’s why!

The wind kept blowing.
The water shimmered and the world stood still.
Amidst all the chaos, everything froze.
Except for one thing.
She knew it was there.
It was the driving force.
It was behind it all.
But she could no longer feel it.
It hid pretty well.
What a loser.
She wanted to dig it out.
Throw it to the sky.
And watch it crystallize in the freezing cold.
And become a star.
Ever so bright.
The tell-tale heart.

Her body was numb.
And it felt good.
On any other day, she would have been cursing.
But not tonight, not tonight.
She welcomed feeling nothing but inside pain.
The threshold was reached.
And she enjoyed the piercing pain.
She called for more of it.
How strange it is.
When the body is numb from physical pain.
Physical pain?
What was that?
Move aside.
She searched for it again.
Come out and face the world.
Can it really be put to blame?
It is warm in there.
Still left with hope.
True, false hope it was.
But nonetheless, hope.

Her answer came.
And she felt nothing.
But bitter sweet love.

She shattered.
And they walked away.

I have to move on now.

These words sounded familiar.
Where were they from?
It was there all along!

“Just a bit more?”

Oh. Now you come out.
Repeat: I have to move on now.

Thank you. Thank you for making this the best night. I needed it more than ever.

P.S. the cell phone died…

No. No, I did not.

November 23, 2008

An email.
From the Registrar of university.

“Hidden Souls”,

We hope that you have enjoyed your educational experience during the 2008 Fall
semester now drawing to a close and wish you luck on your exams.

Uhh…No. I did not.

The Trip of A Life Time

November 22, 2008

Between millions of people, going to worship Him only during hajj, Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala knows us by name, knows our concerns, our dua’as, our pleas, and just about everything else… 

That time of the year is coming close again, and my heart aches knowing that I will not be going…For those of us going, I suggest reading these (short and very beneficial) posts I got from True and Good Words:

Realizing The Importance of Hajj
Aiming for Perfection
Patience, Patience, and some more Patience!
Plan and Prepare
Check out the Prep guide in the above post!! Brilliant mashaAllah!
Remembering Allah Throughout

I look forward to this journey when I can stand beside the rich and the poor, the black and the white, worrying about nothing but pleasing Allah and getting my sins forgiven inshaAllah…

I have found this documentary very touching (yes it made me cry) and I couldn’t help but wish I could be there right now!

(I am posting it from Google Video but you can also find it in YouTube cut up into five parts)

National Geographic Inside Mecca

And for a good laugh, LOL, check this out:


Make duaa for those not there!

Intelligent Faith

November 22, 2008

 The Role of Reason and Intellect in Islam

Yasir Qadhi 

My Personal Struggle

November 22, 2008

I wanted to name this post “My Personal J-word”…but let’s play safe, just in case 😉

Sometimes, like right now, I hate the world of academia. I hate everything about it. I was born to be wild. You can’t chain me behind glass walls and ask me to learn how to integrate pressure and volume formulas. 

I need to be doing something, I need to be someone. I need to get out of this cage that is killing my creativity. 

Sometimes, just sometimes, I hate school. 

But most of the time, I enjoy that bitter taste and horrible gut feeling of being screwed for an exam. 

I truly believe I hate physical chemistry. 

Physical Chemistry is my personal struggle. If I ever pass this course and become someone who has a say in university, I will not make it a requirement for biochem students. Because frankly, I don’t need to know how to differentiate del V over del T as S remains constant and relate it to some other crap I don’t know. What I do know is that I finished all the biochem courses they offer and I really don’t need this knowledge to isolate my proteins and test if the drug I used influenced the structure of the protein or not.

But, then again, with the right intention, I’m hoping for lots of ajer going through this personal struggle of mine.